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November 2007

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northwindbrat in weirdfamily

Survivor Biatch!

Outlast, Outsmart, Outbitch!

It's just like Survivor, except a lot bitchier. It's called Survivor, Biatch! and if the ratings are anything to go by, this new reality show is here to stay. The premise is simple, the bitchier you are, the better your chances of winning. Girls and only girls get to play, though I don't really understand why. Believe me, bitch is an atittude and I've seen enough guys who have proven themselves to be real bitches. Anyway, the bitchier the better, but do you really want to be a total bitch? Be a bitch and you get your way, but some girls seem to have chosen to walk the thin line between proper and just plain bitchy. They might not win the show, but at least they get to keep their friends!

In the very first episode, we are introduced to the contestants, warmly referred to as the bitches. We get to know their professions, ages and motivations for joining the show. They are then herded to an island, where the host (Beatrice Chia) explains the rules to them. They will stay on the island of Sentosa for a month, in an area far away from the touristy theme park, close to the beach. Every day, a Queen Bitch is picked by a draw of leg hair. The newly elected Queen will get to pick five of her desired whims from a full list of ten and the lesser bitches will have to scurry around trying to satisfy her. The teams with the best results make it to another round, with each team voting the least productive member out each time. The goal is to stay in the game.

So far, we've had "make me a bra"  where the most creative team made a pretty decent bikini out of coconut leaves. Then there was "give me a spa treatment" where a mudbath turned into a mudfight. The oddest one yet was a sculpting contest, where the lesser bitches busied themselves with sculpting the likeness of their newly elected goddess with sand. It is amusing observing the frantic problem-solving and the mindblowing bootlicking, especially when a bitch can only be a Queen for a day. The treatment that the lesser bitches give a really bitchy Queen after she is dethroned will probably bring out your inner bitch as well.

The show will be aired tomorrow, at 8pm on Channel Weird.


still need the promo pic :P